The Pink Lady

Five years ago, I bought a trailer off of Facebook.

Total impulse buy; I didn’t even have the money for it.

Okay it was actually a complete miracle. Irresponsible but a miracle nonetheless. I was talking to my finance savvy co-worker on the phone about finding a way to finance the beauty because HELLO, I WAS IN LOOOOOVE. It so happens a guy who worked near his cubicle happened to overhear him. Get this: this guy happened to be friends with the lady selling the trailer. Also! He had an online antique business, and directed me to get a PayPal credit account. He created an invoice and I paid him via PayPal credit and he forwarded the money to the lady.

I never won a game of Bingo or ever had my name pulled out of a hat, but this ONE TIME, my stars aligned.

It was always my pipe dream to have a “glamper” (glamour + camper, you get it.)

And the trailer? It was a 1971 Layton, painted a garish hot pink and turquoise.

Initially I thought I would paint it a yellow and mint color. But the stove inside was pink and just so adorable. I decided to stick with the whole pink thang going on, just a less garish pink.

I named her The Pink Lady.

I remember driving up to the woman’s house to get the title and Stevie Nicks’ “Stand Back” came on the radio and it just seemed so right, so damn glorious.

You see, I had just moved home for THE FIRST TIME (tee tee)–it was my goal to fix up the camper to live in it. You know, make a kinda awkward situation into a bad ass bohemian situation.

I gave myself two months and my tax refund to fix the baby up.

BA HA HA.

Joke was on me.

In fact–it’s still not done and I’m still spending money. Ugh.

At the time, it was my big plan to live in it until I could move to Prescott where I would eventually buy a house with a yard, and plop the beauty down.

Plot twist! Prescott lasted 7 months, but now I’m engaged and will be moving to Thatcher, AZ.

Oh, life.

(I’ll fess on the relationship/engagment details soon enough. Don’t you worry your pretty little heads.)

I am still determined to buy a house soon, this time with my MAN, and my glamper will be my studio/office. But before then, I’m quite determined to have her as an honorable guest at my taaaa-daaaaa! wedding reception.

For the reception, her name will temporarily change from The Pink Lady to (drumroll, kitten purrs) The Blushing Bride.

I know, I know, I know. You love it and you’re dying.

So! I’m plopping some wedding budget money onto the ole gal and WILL ACTUALLY FINISH HER OMG.

(Fingers crossed.)

So let’s begin by fully reminiscing, shall we?

The Hot (Mess) Pink Beginning

Behold! In all of it’s Barbie Malibu Trailer Park glory!

Yes the colors were a hot, hot, hot pink, along with a damn bright turquoise and . . . a purple door LOL. The Inside was shabby chic covered with wall paper, stickers and decals.

Okay, I must admit. The way it came was fun and kooky but I had my own vision, a 1950’s pastel vision.

And so I was going to totally transform the inside.

Guys, this trailer was an adhesive nightmare.

From the wallpaper to the decoupaged stickers on practically every surface–this project quickly took FOREVER. I bought so many bottles of harsh chemicals and nothing seemed to do the job. I’m getting a panic attack just thinking about it. From stripping all of the wallpaper, all of the decoupage, my project quickly extended from a two month project into a…umm, this may never be done project.

The (I Suck at DIY) Remodel

Disclaimer: this is not a grand How-To post on the wonders of remodeling a vintage camper. I repeat! This is not a How-To post!

This was my first major DIY project. In fact, I think this was the first time I actually ever bought paint, or painted anything. I was a lost puppy in the aisles of Home Depot.

I now know one thing: I totally suck at DIY.

The following pictures give me hot piss anxiety. I’m also…so confused on my process back then. Clearly I was trying to decorate and remodel at the same time???

Dork.

Hey you guyyyyyyys!

The MESS! The CHAOS! NEVER AGAIN!

I prefer to forget about this stage.

New backsplash! (Had no idea what I was doing!)

New floor! (My brother Darren, he looks pleased as punch doesn’t he? Ba ha ha)

And I decided it would be cute to take a little photo shoot in the mess???

LOL.

Now this is when it gets a tad bit better—painting the exterior of the Pink Lady.

The Kinda/Sorta After

I was impatient and decorated The Pink Lady before it was totally complete.

Don’t ask.

The only “Sorta/After” pics taken were ones where I decorated the Pink Lady for a holiday, as you can see above.

The Pink Lady (I Hate Glue!) Now

That cheeky black and white checkered floor?

They were vinyl squares put down with glue. And it has made me miserable.

The corners of the tile were always popping up. Always. Some were breaking off. We can’t have that! So I decided to apply Gorilla glue to the stubborn little edges. I would literally glue my fingers together trying to get them precisely under the tile without breaking anything

Ughhhhh.

Turns out, the glue would ooze from under the tile which then gave me a gum-smeared-on-sidewalk look all over the floor.

Have mercy.

So I bought Goo B Gone and even then, the glue would not come up. So I got fed up and got Little House on the Prairie on myself and tried good old fashioned damn vinegar LOL. Vinegar cleans EVERYTHING.

Guess what. The vinegar stripped the color from my tiles.

Oh the pain! My floors are totally trashed at the moment.

I’m devastated, thanks for asking. The floors will need to be ripped up and replaced. I considered legit tile with grout. Then I figured that would cost me $1000.

Umm, not today Satan.

So it looks like a wood laminate floor is in our future, she said with a sigh.

I cringe at the lack of “retro diner” from the black and white checkered, but I did buy black and white checkered rugs to give it the same effect?

Well.

That’s where we stand at the moment! Will give updates soon, darling internet.

To Be Continued…