I thought I would come onto the crusty blog with a major update of my life that is past due as I am due to have a bouncing bundle of joy in just a few weeks!
Yes! David and I are having a baby. Our first little baby, a boy.
A Lil’ Bit About Our Journey
David and I had been trying for two years to get pregnant. I was now in my advanced thirties so facing the reality that we may in fact be infertile was very real and absolutely soul crushing to me as I knew many couples undergo years of infertility treatments until they can successfully conceive. I felt that I had aged out of motherhood.
I bought a MIRA fertility tracker last fall as well as met with my OBGYN to start the initial tests prior to being referred to a fertility specialist.
Not sure if this is TMI but I really credit the fertility tracker to helping me and my OBGYN to know what was the problem. I literally was not producing any progesterone which is required to ovulate. My OBGYN didn’t prescribe any medication, which I’m still a little miffed abut honestly, her reasoning being that due to my “advanced age at 37” it would be best if I complete the tests and see the specialist from there.
I started to schedule the blood tests etc. which seemed to be unusually difficult and seemed to take SO MUCH TIME. So in the meantime, I decided to take on Google.
I learned that progesterone can be depleted due to high stress. The past two years were incredibly stressful to me due to the job I had and I really blame that stress for messing with my hormones *bitter muttering under my breath*. But then I read that the vitamin B6 helped the body to produce progesterone. What did I have to lose. I bought a big ole bottle of B6.
I started faithfully taking B6 along with other vitamins such as Vitamin D, a pre-natal vitamin, COQ-10, Inosotil, Apple Cider Vinegar, Royal Maca, etc.
This was also right before the holidays so I mentally decided that I would stop focusing on the fertility tests which were getting stressful until the New Year. I’m not sure what inspired me to hold off but I really think allowing myself to not worry/stress/obsess was pivotal as well. It allowed me to really enjoy and bask in the holidays which flooded my soul with some good ole serotonin.
Lo and behold! It was right after Thanksgiving, I was decorating our little cottage for Christmas when suddenly I just came down sick. I thought it was the flu as I was beyond nauseous.
And that nausea never went away.
Because of the past disappointments I was convinced it was a stomach bug, and most of my family delicately did not want to suggest maybe, just maybe, this was morning sickness. I went WEEKS feeling unbelievably sick and tired and unable to eat anything.
Then I started vomiting, and still my mind was convinced that maybe I had overdone it on the vitamins. It was actually my Dad who told me I should take a pregnancy test LOL.
So I asked David to buy a test, but only to rule it out before going to a doctor.
I was pretty apathetic when I took it first thing in the morning. I was so used to getting negative feedback on ovulation tests/pregnancy tests etc. Like OF COURSE it was going to say “not pregnant.”
So when the time was up, I casually looked to affirm my cynicism. But to my total shock, it read:
PREGNANT.
I was totally and completely STUNNED. Honestly to this DAY I still feel in denial that I’m pregnant, even with his little kicks and hearing his heartbeat. I think infertility defeat can be so mentally powerful that way.
I remember walking to David with the test and had no words and just showed him. David didn’t even know I was taking the test and was like, “What is this? Wait, what?” LOL Now I wish I had a more thoughtfu/sentimentall approach to telling him we were pregnant but I think the shock was too much for me and just needed to show him right away.
A Lil’ Bit About the Pregnancy
It has been hard.
I had been so unbelievably sick–I lost 25 pounds in the first trimester. I couldn’t eat or drink. I remember lying in bed feeling like I was literally going to DIE. I tried eating one damn saltine cracker and it literally took me an hour to take 3 tiny nibbles out of it.
The sickness didn’t go away after the first trimester either. YIKES.
And I had no forewarning that I would literally piss myself whenever I threw up. SO MUCH FUN!
So no, it has not been glamorous. I have had moments where I marvel that my baby is healthy and thriving and developing a heart and kidneys and lungs and hair inside of me, which is utterly mind boggling to me. It literally feels so God-like to create a life.
But for the most part–I’ve been in survival mode.
But then I also I got diagnosed with gestational diabetes and am now on insulin, she said with a sigh. Putting a pregnant woman on a diet is cruel and unusual punishment. Sometimes I just cry I miss carbs so damn bad. Ice cream, Frosted Flakes, muffins, a damn can of Root Beer! Ughhhhh.
So I’ve basically been a high risk pregnancy but it’s almost over THANK THE LORD.
The Gender Reveal
David and I both find gender reveals a tad too “trendy” and maybe a bit silly. That’s just us, but we both had sweet little moments prior to finding out we were having a boy.
In fact, we were both convinced we were having a little girl.
While David and I were going through infertility one night in his sleep he randomly yelled out “Boy!”
Not sure what he was dreaming but it was long before we were pregnant. I tend to think he dreamed about our future child.
And then right before our results came back (we did the genetic testing that would tell us the gender sooner, and not by ultrasound), I had a dream where a baby wrapped in a blanket was presented to me. I kept saying, “I think it’s a girl.” But when I unwrapped the blanket, the baby was dressed in blue.
Sure enough, we sat on the couch and pushed the little button on the test results to reveal the gender and it said “It’s a boy!”
One of the first things David did was buy our baby boy a matching pair of striped overalls to his striped overalls which I tolerate LOL. Pretty damn adorable, I must say.
The Announcement
This was our “official” announcement on Instagram which we posted in February hence the Valentines Day theme with our first little ultrasound of our cute little guy.
His Name
We already have a name for our little boy: Oliver Keith Claridge.
We will call him Ollie and have been calling him Ollie this entire time.
Why Oliver? I like old fashioned British names, and David liked it when I suggested it.
His middle name Keith is after David’s dad who passed away when David was 14, but also for David as it is his middle name as well.
Right now I am almost 37 weeks and due to the gestational diabetes, they will induce me at 39 weeks. Yesterday in my OB appointment, the midwife at my OB office gave me instructions to naturally induce birth and was basically assigned to try all of these methods.
I must admit–the unknown scares me and giving birth, breastfeeding, taking care of a tiny baby that is all mine is actually quite terrifying to me.
But It will also be such a joy to finally see the little boy who has been safely nestled in my body, nudging and kicking me. So far from the 3d ultrasounds we’ve seen I believe he has my nose.
I also purr that he’ll be a July baby. I love July–we got married in July and now our firstborn will come into the world, with many future birthday parties, in July.
Can’t wait to meet you, our little Ollie boy.
XoXo
Doris Day Would Love Me 